Random

-.- I supposed to have many many many things to write. Suddenly... Don't feel like writing anything. Haha!

After my Birthday, the next big event is Astro Battleground! Semi 1, Move eliminated. Semi 2, Max-I and Twister XF. Semi 3, SWZ. Moved on to final, Katoon Network, ECX, Dancologist and Wakaka Fever!

I was chilling with Lady 7, Ting Dong, Ayumi, Jackson and Reborn (correct?) at BBQ Plaza. Then with Dennis, Monkey, Chriz, Ross and unknown-name people to Zone 5. Once I stepped into the arcade, Mr Bobby called me. Rushed to KFC to meet him, Lan Bo, Yee Jia and Anthony. We went to Jalan Alor to makan, again. HEHE.

Lan Bo is crazy of Kangkung Belacan, Roasted Chicken Wing and TOMYAM SOUP. The restaurant does not have it but under special request, they cooked it for him. Haha! He is really a smoke person. I didn't realize he is this smoke last 2 years and last year. After he gave us his name card, it was like... Half an hour later? Then he asked Bobby this smoke question:

Bobby，小雯是你的女朋友吗？

Everybody was stunned. I answered, 不是. Then I forgot what was he crapping already. I just remember:

Bobby，是个好男人哦。

It was raining outside. Bobby went to take his car and stop in front of the restaurant. Lan Bo was like, “Bobby，你好 man 哦！Bobby，你好 man 哦！”

He kept repeating this beside my ear. Inside the car, again he repeated this. He asked Bobby next time to do slow motion, to let girls see how man he is because he walked too fast, the girls hardly could feel his man. Oh my god...

He asked me again, why didn't I consider him, or something like that. So I was like, “他曾经是我的男朋友。”

He stunned awhile. Oh? was his first reaction. Haha. Then Yee Jia was like, “是啦，刚才一直跟你打眼色。”

蓝波，“缘分这种东西就是很难讲。失去了才懂得珍惜。” I was like... Apa you cakap? Haha. Then he said man's most dependable part is the shoulder. Then he was praising Bobby's shoulder is tough enough, even though it is lower a bit. -.- “虽然这个肩膀矮了一点。小雯，想一想吧。”

Wahlau eh! Damn smoke you know! I clapped my hands in the car and laughed out loud. Strongly agree man! When Bobby did a U-turn, there was a car, quite far away. He thought we would bang the car, then he was shouting and shocked. I was like... -.- Haha! Speechless. A man with many smoke spontaneous speeches. A man who can talk and joke non-stop since naik kereta sampai turun kereta sampai makan sampai naik kereta sampai turun kereta! Respect. Why me? I'm not complaining or anything la. Just feel funny. Haha. Damn funny that he kept promoting Bobby to me.

“我的小孩为什么要怕我？我的小孩是要来爱我的啊。”

Respect.

Went to Mont Kiara for BBoy Flash Mob in 1U this Saturday. And also Siti Nurhaliza's concert, backup Siti Saerah. Floor Fever, their New Skool steps, SMOKE. Me and Celica were like.... TOLONG! Hahaha... But I had seen them dancing these steps everywhere before. Couldn't imagine I got chance to learn it. Haha.

Today I finally got back my Avia shoes from TOKI YEEN TECK YIN. I asked my mum to pass him the ugly Nike shoes to him. You know what? Ngan yuun seeing the shoes. Reached home and checked my Avia shoes. WHAT THE FUCK?! STAIN!!! Even the shoe lace also kena. Mahai! Eat shit! Go to die! Wish you car crash and die inside your fucking car! Deleted my wall post instead of replying! I had seen your birthday photo album! Padan muka! So less people attended! Party just to receive gifts? Shit you! I cursed the Nike shoes. Wish you wear the Nike shoes and step on banana skin, fall down and bang your head on durian and bleed to death! Don't fuck with my shoes even though it is only Avia!

That day don't know why we suddenly mentioned about him. Bobby took my handphone and said he'd call TOKI, asked him not to call me anymore. He could be serious, I don't know. But I saw no light on my handphone, I thought he was joking. He really called, and warned him don't call me anymore. Then ah gal took the phone and checked. Wah.. Really call wan ah? I was like, speechless and laughing all the way. But I'd like to hear from AD. Guess he is more smoke. Haha! Earlier when I fucked TOKI on the phone, I thought he'd grab my handphone and fuck him louder than I did. He didn't. Ish.

Managed to sweat a lot today. Haha! SLEEPY~ Esok rehearsal lagi. Huhu~

Feelings and Thoughts

Should be very sleepy but I decided to post something before I sleep.

I've been carrying several of lies with me recently. I didn't intend to. But I guess it is not the right time yet. I will reveal them, soon. Some is to avoid, some is just not the right time yet. My best friends will surely know them the best.

Today when I was alone at studio, suddenly my ex exhibition colleague SMS me. So surprising. We were just asking about work and life. She asked me am I paid highly. And out of my mind, I answered her, it's either you pick a life or you pick money. Maybe I'm wrong at the following thought. Girls like us, probably we are only meant to shopping, work then get married and take care of the house chores. Where's your life then? Of course this only applies to gals. What I need to do now is get my life as interesting as possible. 31 December 2009! Final of every joy and fun. Hope so. Maybe I cannot accept that I'll be turning 24 in 2010. Seems like a dream in my life. My real life just began in 2009. Maybe that's what makes me hard to settle down. But I guess that's the fact. Too used to being attached to each other.

Your words, your actions, your touch, your caring... Everything... Seems useless to me already. I do not hate you. But I know I am trying to avoid to see you because every time we meet, there must be a reason. Several of times I told myself and the people around, this would be the last shit from me, but I'm still so kind-hearted to help you. Maybe I hardly know how to reject someone when they have difficulty. I'm not scared of you anymore. I tease, I scold, I step, I fool you around. Because I really cannot stand of how ridiculous can you be in handling your work.

I'm trying not to let emo take over me. I hope my strong instinct about my life will not fade. I guess it is best for me so far.

Happy 23rd Birthday, VON. (Part 2, 3 & 4)

Finally! As I still cannot use the studio hard disk because of this do-not-know-what-it-is FAT thingy, I finished off some paper work, then finally manage to update my blog now. Hehe. Whoever has my Facebook should have already looked through my birthday photos. Guess what? MacBook iPhoto is linked with Facebook. Yeah! So I uploaded those photos straight from my Lil'Apple! I don't have to wait for the wack Javascript to load. Kakakaka!

Alright. Completed my Part 1 previously, now Part 2.

It happened that I was un-dated on my birthday. So surprising, right? Haha! Everyone was busy with teaching. When Yousef came to ask me when I'd free, I was like Monday no, Tuesday no, Thursday no... I mumbled, Wednesday. Haha! I was supposed to travel here and there on Wednesday, but I ended up traveling to Low Yat to check out my doomed laptop! Then traveled to Sunway Pyramid to meet Yousef Bourne and Lady 7. It was 4pm when I reached studio. Went to withdraw money to pay studio electricity, water and streamyx bills. Met both of them at 5pm.

First of all, we went to Machines. Haha. Just to check out the MacBook white for fun. Then straight to TGV and bought 3 tickets of Law Abiding Citizen at 6.45pm. Then then then! To Rip Curl! Hehe. He said the sweater does not suit me! You wack! Hahaha! You wait! Will prove it to you! Buek! Secret Recipe after that. Had a piece of Cheeze Choc. NICE. Huhu~ And somebody was eating Kids Meal. -.-" Practical, etc etc... Haha. Ask him what is it all about. He got his point. Pandai kira. Salute. Haha! After movie, balik studio, tired already. Haha. And worried about studio stuff. Hehe.

That's my Part 2. Ngek~ Check out some photos of this HANDSOME Yousef Bourne.

Supposed to capture this photo with him but nobody could help us to take it. So... Hehe...

Kids meal! Look at the tiny little flag. Haha!

Alright. Part 3 now. Ngek~

Supposed to meet Bobby Tan at 10.30pm. But he was sending Stephy Chua home. He reached studio at 11pm. Left studio and was discussing where to go. He gave me 3 options, Gombak seafood restaurant, Look Out Point or Thai BBQ at Kuchai Lama. I picked Look Out Point because the place is quieter. =)

Managed to reach there before 12am. Haha. We were freezing over there because the celcius was like 10? Luckily I had a long sleeve. He didn't have. And he still ordered a cold drink. He didn't know what drink was it, wrong order. Imagine, we were numb until couldn't taste anything. We only spent one hour there. Too damn cold already.

Reached home. OMG! MacBook white! So damn love it! But I had already expected it. Ngek~ But not with such a surprise. Good one. =) Spent the whole night until 6am testing with my new baby, previously called it Mr White but now Lil'Apple. Sounds more Hip Hop compared to XIAO PING GUO, given by Ms Wong Shee Yee (Orange). Haha! Too cute to suit me! Hehe!

Part 3, that's all. =)

The view. Seriously amazing, but not in photos.

Photo session to send away my birthday. Haha.

Part 4!! Steamboat party! Oh yeah~!!!

Didn't go anywhere whole day. My first meal was mee cup. Haha! Mum was too busy to buy me lunch. It's okie! I saved my stomach for the best! Hehe.

Then I was busy cleaning my room. Well, almost cleaned 60% of it. Haha! Threw part of my unworn clothes. Oppps.. Donated. Hehe. If not I seriously had no space to stuck my clothes! Argh! Was thinking of removing the computer table. But where should I place my computer? Haha. My room is seriously too pack! But I'm thinking of placing another wardrobe inside my room. Hehe~ And I'm removing my college and university books. Tak sampai hati sebenarnya. Haha! Because I didn't get to REALLY read them. Even though they seem useless to me NOW. Well... See first. Hehe.

Almost 5.30pm only free to help my mum. But my sis was home at 6pm already. So she helped my mum too, while I busy talking with Yvonne Kan.

First to arrive, besides Yvonne Kan, was Eddie Tay! Haha! Then Katoon. Followed up by who, forgot already. Kaka.

Makan makan makan! My party was also like a party to welcome Zakaria Bin Ahmad abroad! Yeah! You belong to our world now! Yes, this is the real world!!! Your life has just begun!

After steamboat, the red wine session. Huhu~ Everybody loves it, including a non-drinker like me. Hehe! After that nobody dared to eat my durian cake because they scared they'd bleed! Too hot to eat. Hehe. Well, the cake, FUCKING NICE!!! Hahahaha! OMG~ I should cut my piece the biggest!

So damn noisy at my home. Haha. Some went to RDS rehearsal and back after that. After party, BRJ. Haha! While showing off my Lil'Apple at BRJ. Haha!

Part 4. Finished! Huhu~ Such a short night! Did I miss any interesting parts? Haha. I supposed there were many. But I guess photos will explain all. Thank you Yvonne Kan, Eddie Tay, Mr Katoon Kelvin, Bobby Tan, Kim Chin, AD, Hannsen, Eric Chan, Fellest Yan, Zack, Roger Tan, Toki Yeen, Nic Chin, Annie Law, Nick Fai, Geraldine, Raymond Tan, Jiayi & Dion for coming! Did I miss out anyone's name? =D

The food! Still got plenty more! But out of frame!

Yvonne Kan, AD, Kelvin, Eddie Tay & Toki.

Bobby Tan, Kim Chin, Katoon, Yvonne Kan & Eddie Tay.

Zack, Roger Tan, Hannsen & Fellest Yan.

Annie Law, Nic Chin, AD & Yvonne Kan.

The wine glasses. So beautiful. Huhu~

My fit fit Dan San! Is a she! Haha~!

Cheers~ Katoon & Toki.

Cheers~ Yvonne & Kim.

The brothers! Reunion! Yeah! Bobby, Fellest (with a funny face!), Fai, AD, Kelvin & Eddie!

Cheers~ Brothers.

Cheers~ Roger Tan, Katoon & Hannsen.

Cheers~ Von & AD.

Woohoooo~~~ What do we call this hah? Haha! Eric & Von.

Cheers~ Von & Bobby.

My mum. A wonderful person in this world. =)

Huhu~

My 2 lovely Bao Bei~ Muakz~

Make a wish at my second cake!

Blow!

Don't know why I love this photo so much. Haha!

Famous Strike, reunion. Where's Ayumi?! Haha!

Bao Bei lenglui~

Lou Bao~ Haha

Jiayi & Geraldine.

With pokkai brother Toki. Kakakakaka! Belajar baik-baik la you!

My first gift from Famous Strike!

Second gift from Yousef Bourne!

Third gift! Which is also the BIGGEST one! Yeah!!!!!!

My surprising gift from Lady 7. Really smoke gao gao! Hahahahaha!

The most meaningful gift from everyone. Check out my Facebook photo album for the content. Really touching. =) So happy and lucky to have all of you. Thank you my babe Lady 7 for such a meaningful book!!!

My gift from Chung Didi. Huhu~ Surprise surprise!!!!

8-year-old Sprite glass bottle from Toki. One of his valuable collections.

That's all for my 23rd birthday! Yeah! Happy ending! Huhuhuhuhuhu!!!

Busy Busy ^^

Been too busy with happy days. Hehe. In addition I didn't have all the softwares for this new laptop. Ngek~ Just got it last night. Have to finish off some studio work first before I proceed to mine! Hell yeah! Been sleeping at 6am plus recently! For the entire week! Shit man! Crazy life! Too excited with this new laptop. HEHE~

At Station 1 now with Bobby, Eric, Kelvin, Kim and AD. Celebrating Kim's birthday while they're drinking beer and playing 007. Hahahaha! I drank half of the small glass. Made me damn blur and sleepy now. Shit man. Alcohol really sucks. =.="

Have to rest my mind to arrange what tasks to complete first. Feel that my mind is breathless now due to lack of sleep. Go home later, remove make up, bath and sleep! Argh! Damn damn fucking sleepy!

Oh yeah. Watched Phobia 2 just now too. The first one, fourth and fifth stories are good. We even shouted and laughed out loud while watching the last story. Haha. Long time never shouted for a horror movie already.

Today my first meal was a Mee Sue from Shihlin. After MSDG, BBQ Plaza. Tauke belanja. =D Went back studio, online online until I was fishing. Couldn't stand the sleepiness anymore. Slept for half an hour I guess. Woke up, continued online and ate my Choc Mud Cake. HEHE... The Kim Kim was here, went to eat Zanmai pulak. HAHA!

After movie, we wanted to give a surprise to Kim. But it seemed like he gave us more surprises than we gave it to him because he was on the phone all the time. We had to standby when he came up. In the end we sort of like failed to surprise him. Haha! Ate the Wall's ice cream cake after that and now here in Station 1.

A long night to go. Tomorrow, maximum 12pm wake up. OMG... I can feel it's another dead day for me tomorrow! Argh! Damn myself! SLEEP SLEEP SLEEP!!!

Happy 20th Birthday to our Scorpio boy Kim Kim. ^^

Happy 23rd Birthday, VON. (Part 1)

12am. Haha. Expected. But the surprises below, SMOKE! Kaka! No offense ya. We were just having fun! They treated me like brother. Kakakaka!

Make a wish. I wish someone can buy me a MacBook white. I wish I can get a rich & handsome boyfriend. Haha!

Durian cake from Secret Recipe.

First one to kiss my cheek. Haha! So surprising. He was like a beast. Long time never kissed a gal. HAHAHAHA! Look at our expressions, you can guess already. XD

Eric Chan, took this photo for so many times. Finally!

Lady Seven, my babe. Woohooo!!! SOMEBODY, don't get jealous ya! Keke!

Eddie Chan. Another beast. Hahahahahaha!

Alex Lim! Huhu~ Paiseh oh~

My little boy. Hahaha! Lee Hann Sen.

Kim Chin. Aiyo. Paiseh ger lan la? Hahaha!

Yvonne Kan. Friendship kiss. Ryosuke Vuu, jangan complain ah! Haha. Thanks dear, for having this brilliant kissing idea for my birthday! Hahahaha! My face was full of saliva. Hahahaha!

Lick me!!! AHHHH~!!!!

Roger Tan and Celica! Kena jugak kiss I. Hahaha! Cannot runaway. Ngek~

The 2 real beasts of the night! Hahahaha! 2 hungry men. XP

My Handsome brother Nic Chin aka sister. HAHAHAHA! See how good can a friendship be? Ish ish. Jangan jealous tau. HE IS NOT SINGLE AND NOT AVAILABLE. This is only a friendship kiss! For the second time. HAHAHAHA~!!! Actually, quite malu also wan lo. HAHAHA~ Thanks BaoBei Nic, for setting the event alarm in my handphone to greet me and let me read the greeting before you left studio. Damn fresh! Hahaha! Mana tahu you tertinggal your hp at studio. =.="

My boss Bobby Tan. Let you kiss my hand enough already. Since you had already kissed me for 5 years before. Kekekekeke~

Ok la Ok la. My boss, my tauke, my opportunity giver in my life. I kasi muka sikit. Hahahaha!

Thank you babe Lady Seven for such a nice make up. ^^

Thank you Famous Strike for giving me the dope red sweat pants from Echo Park. Haha! Muakz muakz~ Red rocks! Thank you Nigel Leong for calling Echo Park to give the 10% discount. Hahahahaha!

Part 2 and 3! To be continued! Hahahaha!

3 Years Of Memories... GONE?

Slept at 4am I guess. Was supposed to sleep at 3.30am. Had to entertain Mr Bobby until I couldn't stand anymore for serious. I asked him, "Aren't you the one who asked me to sleep earlier? Aren't you the one who asked me to get more sleep? Why are we still on phone?" Haha. So hurt, man. But I was damn sleepy. I thought I could get back my normal life. Haha. Sorry man.

10am, Kingz Dex's message. =.=" I don't know why. I dreamed of him and Lim Leong Wee. I didn't know what I was dreaming. But I remember I was messaging Kingz Dex. That's my dream. Haha. Got back to sleep after I read his second message. Didn't know what to reply. Kaka!

I was so fucking frustrated just now! The lowyat person called me that my hard disk is spoiled. Need RM260 to fix it! But everything inside the hard disk will be totally gone!!!!!!!!! FUCK THAT~!!!!! My 3 years of memories!!! Photos, videos and documents!!! Very important documents!!!! Nia ma geh hai!!!!!! Haiz. I don't know what I could say already. Repeated it so many times to so many people. Lazy to repeat it again. Heard that these files can be recovered. HOPE SO! But I'm seriously fed up with my laptop now. I've been so patient with the battery already. Like need to plug in charger every time I wanna use it. Fine. Now, hard disk. Fix it. Yeah. I know. Suddenly fed up with it. I don't know what else SURPRISES it will give me in future.

I was supposed to crawl to Lowyat to get it back. But I was carrying such a big pack of costumes! With the laptop lagi. I mati la! I know it's not the end of the world. Everyone has their own problems, their own level of troubles to solve. Don't compare please. I have to take a 2-hour train and bus to Sunway. Tambah lagi travel to Lowyat, 4 hours over there! Nak jalan lagi. Adui. Pening kepala I. Tomorrow is supposed my chill out day at home. Happy day. But I have to go to Lowyat to get my laptop. Then go The Curve take a shoe box. So probably will ask Yousef to meet me at Sunway Pyramid. Since he asked me to pick my present. Gonna bring him to Rip Curl to get a nice knitted sweater! RM279! HAHAHAHA! Since the windrunner is already RM259. =p Have so many shirts and pants to get from there! Argh!

Someone is getting me a MacBook white? I don't know. I hope my sense is wrong. Haiz. I don't know. We are all poor. I wish to buy it by myself. But all my money hasn't come in yet!!! So much money over there that I can just pay off using cash!!! Imagine that!! Argh!

Using AD's laptop to online now. Just to update my blog. Haiz. So troublesome. He's gonna explode soon playing his PSP. Haha~

Alright. Video shooting tonight. I'm sure they're gonna throw me out from the window at 12am+, when 28 October 2009 is writing its history. =)

Can't wait for tomorrow night. Steamboat party. Oh yeah~

STILL LAPTOP!!!

Damn it! You are spoiled at the right time! Right 2 days before my birthday! I don't know it's a fucking good news or bad news! Guess that the god really wants me to dump off all the old shits and get a new one! I don't know! I'm so fed up with it. So lazy to get it fixed! It's now in Lowyat. The technician is not around so he'll let me know tomorrow regarding what's its actual fucking problem!!!! Damn it!!!

I was then online using my sister's laptop because she went to sleep already. Continued doing some final work while busy chatting with people. Chat until 5am, finally, slept. Haiz... No more such life tonight! On eBuddy using my hp, then SLEEP! Back to normal life now! Everything, stop stop stop!!! No webcam, no chatting... SLEEP!

Woke up at 11.30am, then slept back until 12.50pm! Then went to Lowyat. Thought everything would be fine. NO! Argh! Don't want to mention it! Throw it away. HOWEVER, Bobby let me start to love something. MACBOOK WHITE!!! RM3599!!! With LED backlit, trackpad, etc!! SHIT!!!! I'm so fucking loving it now! Argh! But car! I need a car more! But laptop! I need it also!!! SHIT MYSELF!! Why am I always in such a deep shit?! Argh! It's okie. Loving life now! New ones will come!!! I believe it strongly!!! 35% of luck! That's it!

So tired of walking up and down. Finally fell asleep in the car. Didn't know I reached studio already until Bobby woke me up. Yeah! First time! I was so alert all this while! Maybe due to lack of sleep! Argh! SLAP MYSELF!!! I will listen to YOUR advice. SLEEP. Yes, it's you! Kingz Dex! Haha! You don't have to ask me who am I referring already. I'll be very open with the names here starting from today!!! What you have to do is get ready with everything you do to me!!! I'll expose it here. =) But with limitations. No worries. Hehe.

I really have no plan on this Wednesday. Actually I don't feel like going anywhere. But now, without laptop, stay at home. Errr... DAMN IT! Then I can stay in the living room with my mum and Mr Yang Yang (my sister's shihtzu). Haha! Take a break, refresh my mind. Yousef asked me out. He asked me to pick a present. =) How sweet. Kakakakakaka! But I seriously have no idea what I really want because the main 4 things that I always wanted are way too expensive. Just give me anything you wish to give me. I can accept. =) Thanks a lot bro~ Will tell you on Tuesday late night if I feel like being accompanied on Wednesday. Huhu~ Whole world is busy except me. ^^

Thursday night! Steamboat party at my home! Actually I just wanna reunite all the Famous family members. Since it's a fifth week. Hope everybody can chill at my home, have fun together and communicate well. =) Hope it works. Hehe~ Durian cake is gonna be my birthday cake! I'm sorry if you don't like it. Hehe! Because it is seriously fucking tempting!!! =)))

Friday!!! Sunway Lagoon? Haha!

Still, my wishlist. ^^


1. MyVi is way enough for myself! Maroon!


2. I told you, I fucking love it! MacBook white with LED backlit & trackpad!


3. iPhone 3GS!!


4. Siberian Husky, it looks fierce and cool. But it's very friendly, fun and hates being alone. Same like me. ^^ Huhu~

LAPTOP!!!

My laptop was down suddenly. I fell asleep. Damn damn sleepy. When suddenly I woke up, my laptop restarted. Then I couldn't log in to my Windows 7 already. What the fuck? Pek chek. Restarted and restarted. Totally couldn't. So I gave up. On eBuddy using my handphone. Ya. Finally it's back! Haha. After borrowed to 2 different guys, I decided not to borrow this phone to other guys and gals already. NEVER! I got my own reason why. Too lazy to explain here. Haiz...

Went to Times Square just now with Leng Lui. Took us 1 hour plus to finish my food. Haha. Went to Digi. What the fuck?! System down! Damn!!! Then we went to Pavilion because Leng Lui wanna help her mum to check out some LV stuff. Huhu~ After LV, then Coach. Shit. So tempting!!! The long purses are cool.

While we were on the way to Pizza Hut to meet Cypherz Kingz, we saw Digi Centre. Haha! We went in to fix some stuff. Took such a long time to complete. And guess what? It was only an easy task that I only had to let the fella fill up the form, that's it. Damn! The receptionist never explained this! And the other promoter was like so damn blur! Met Kingz Dex in the centre too. Not more than 10 minutes later, he ciao. Haha!

I had to rush back for a dinner at Plaza Armada. My family members and I were like... Did we eat anything? Haha! Maybe because there was no sharkfin soup. That's why.

Before we went out, I was lying on the wooden chair in the living room, while SMS. It was raining. Even if my laptop is not down, I planned to do this already once I reached home. It was like, the time had paused right there. I could hear my surroundings clearly. Silence... Relaxing... Only the raindrops. I was so so so sleepy. Got to sleep for like 2 minutes? Haha. Other time was just relaxing myself. Got myself out of life for a moment and it feels great.

Home... Silence... Rain... Cool air...

Guess what now? Get back to work!!! Haha!

No longer a pain in my ass! No longer a shit in my life! Off off off! So much better now! Hereby I confirm that I will never regret with all my decisions! Whatever you wrote, apply it to yourself too! Do not test with my temper because I can be worse than yours!!!

My Immortal... It's Beautiful... It's Horrifying...

*I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me

You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along*

It's beautiful. It's horrifying. Just feel that this song is some sort of peaceful but yet haunting. Haha. Gothic rock. I love it. Haha. Don't worry. I'm not thinking of something that you thought I am thinking. Haha. I am not you. I have feelings. Even how cruel it was, it's still a memory, still an experience.

Tonight I have to work on something final. Very final I guess. Will be going to Times Square & Pavilion tomorrow with Yvonne Kan. So I've to complete this paper work tonight! Don't worry. Even if I can't get to sleep, this is what I promised. I'll prove that I do commit to promises, when I call it a promise. Hope there's a gorgeous one delivering a hot KOPI-O to my doorstep to help me in surviving through this cold and lonely night. =) I don't expect anyone.

Missing so many people right now. Huhu~

分手日记三

剩下的只是功课，之后就不再有什么利益了。承诺，是我唯一欠你的东西。大家就让大家走吧。爱的好辛苦，爱的好怀疑，爱的好隐藏，爱的好神秘，爱的好盲目。。。

竟然将这份爱变成姐弟，其实也不错的，反正我也没有弟弟。哈哈！要照顾人，是我没有尝试过的东西，因为活了二十三年都是人家照顾我而已。放心，以前的爱已经不存在了，也不敢让它存在。不要说我变得快，可能是成长了，所以有些东西过于执着也不是办法。你给我很好的经验，很感谢你，所以我才把你当成我弟弟哦。真的没有别的原因。也许大家保持这样，感觉还可以好一点，没有期望，没有要求，没有渴望，没有期待，没有责任，没有限制，没有控制。。。你需要这些，我懂的。

不懂为什么七天里的回忆可以那么深刻，好像遇见什么东西都会想起你，也许你应该不会这样吧。回忆都是恐怖的，尤其是那种你失去了却回不去的回忆，但是回忆就是 meant to be non-returnable, if not they are not called as MEMORIES. =)

这会是我分手日记的最后一篇，一切到此为止吧。。。